It's Been A While by MischiefManaged

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 06/09/2005
Last Updated: 06/09/2005
Status: Completed

My little explanation of Book 6. Songfic of Staind’s “It’s Been A While”, Harry & Hermione
finally get to meet in private for the first time in a year. While their plan worked, they paid a
price. This is a short one-shot. Rated PG-13 conservatively for a bit of profanity in the song
lyrics.




1. It's Been A While
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**It's Been A While** **** **by MischiefManaged**

**Summary****:** **My little** **explanation** **of Book 6.**
**Son****g****fic of Staind's “It's Been A While”, Harry & Hermione finally get
to meet in private** **for the first time in a year****. While their plan worked, they paid a
price.** **This is a short one-shot.** **Rated PG-13 conservatively for a bit of profanity in
the song lyrics.**

**Disclaimer****: I'm not JK** **Rowling or Staind, so no autographs requests
please!**

*It's been a while*

*Since I could...*

*Hold my head up high*

*It's been a while*

*Since I first saw you*

*It's been a while*

*Since I could stand*

*on my own two feet again*

*And it's been a while*

*Since I could call you*

It was ten before midnight and Harry excused himself from the conversation in the Gryffindor
common room and headed out the portrait hole. He took one last glance at Ron, Ginny, Neville and
Luna as he quickly wrapped his invisibility cloak around him. It was late summer and Hogwart's
reopening was still up in the air. Headmistress McGonagall had insisted that the members of the DA
use Hogwarts as their temporary home and headquarters. It was eerie for the others to be in the
castle without all the other students and professors around, but Harry was used to it as he had
spent a couple of holidays here on his own.

The corridors were dark, but Harry knew his way around the castle with his eyes closed. He had
been sneaking around the castle late at night for many years now. This was his home. His heart
began beating faster, not for fear of being caught, but out of anticipation for his meeting with
her. They hadn't been able to meet privately for over a year now and he wasn't sure how
this would go. Would she still feel the same about him? Would she still be able to continue with
the game plan?

Harry climbed up to the 7th floor corridor and then paced three times in front of the
portrait of Barnabas the Barmy to open the Room of Requirement. He slowly walked in and saw her
sitting on a couch in a room that looked like Gryffindor's common room. She hadn't noticed
his entrance yet and memories of the past year quickly flooded his mind. They had slowly but surely
fallen in love during their fifth year at Hogwarts, but it was only when Harry looked in her eyes
at the train station before he left with the Dursleys and she had said, “Real soon, we promise,”
that he knew without a doubt that his heart had been captured. Instead of being able to spend the
summer before their sixth year as most couples in love do, they had to spend it formulating a
plan.

*And everything I can remember*

*As fucked up as it all may seem*

*Consequences that I've rendered*

*Have stretched myself beyond my means*

Hermione looked up from her place on the sofa and gave Harry a weak smile. He began to feel sick
as he saw the pain in her eyes. Pain that he had put there. Of course it had been Hermione's
idea to begin with, but neither of them realized what a large price they would pay. Harry had
cursed himself last year when he hadn't mastered Occlumency. He knew that his feelings for
Hermione would put her in greater danger and therefore they must keep their feelings a secret.
Fortunately they had two of the best friends in the world, Ron and Ginny. Hermione had decided the
best way to conceal their feelings would be to act as if they were involved with other people. Ron
would date Hermione and Hermione would place a spell on Harry to make him infatuated with Ginny
since he hadn't mastered Occlumency. The plan didn't put Ron or Ginny in any more danger
since Ron was already Harry's best friend and Ginny was one of the best protected witches
around. She lived at The Burrow which was extremely secure and she had 6 brothers to watch after
her. Ron had once fancied Hermione in their fourth year, so it would come to no surprise that they
were now dating. There was only one kink in their plan. No one expected how hard it would be for
Hermione to see Harry lusting after Ginny. She began crying all the time, which was not something
someone happily in love would be doing. So in order to explain her behavior, Ron “volunteered” to
date Lavender in order to make everyone think Hermione was upset at him.

On the surface, their plan worked. Everyone at school really believed the illusion. But as Harry
looked into Hermione's eyes just now he realized how very much the plan had failed. Hermione
had suffered tremendously, not to mention his own suffering. She had cried continuously for almost
a year, and when Harry's kiss with Ginny had happened, he had seen the painful smile on
Hermione's face. At the time it had seemed to him or any removed observer a happy smile, but
now that the spell had worn off he realized that it had been a forced smile. Without the spell,
there were many moments of the past year that he now remembered with a different perspective. Each
and every time he had hurt Hermione now felt like punches to his stomach.

*It's been a while*

*But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you*

He moved across the room in a trance and sat next to her. He didn't know what to say, but
then again they never needed words to speak to each other. He slowly took her hand in his and all
of the thoughts of Voldemort, the war, and the past year faded. He missed this smell, *her
smell*, of parchment, ink, and amber. It had been so long since he was able to caress her
porcelain face in his hand, to twirl her soft wavy hair, to touch her soft pink lips. It was his
desire to be with her, if only briefly, that allowed him to master Occlumency so quickly over the
last few weeks. Now they could at least have brief private meetings and he would no longer have to
be under a spell to hide his true feelings.

*Why must I feel this way?*

*Just make this go away*

*Just one more peaceful day*

*But then I go an**d* *fuck things up again*** *It's been a
while*

*Since I've seen the way*

*the candles light your face*

*It's been a while*

*But I can still*

*remember just the way you taste*

As the flickering fire threw shadows across the room, Harry couldn't take it any longer. He
pulled Hermione toward him and slowly placed his lips on hers. As their lips touched for the first
time in over a year, a surge of energy swept through his body until every nerve tingled. He began
kissing her more passionately and his hands began exploring her body with a life of their own. He
began to crave her taste with an urgency he had never known before. Being with her was the only
thing that could make him forget the awful reality, the tasks that lay ahead. Tomorrow would come
too soon, and he wanted to live in the moment just one last time.

*It's been a while*

*Since I could...*

*Hold my head up high*

*It's been a while*

*Since I said I'm sorry*

Just as Harry began to remove his shirt, Hermione pulled away. There was such conflict in her
eyes and before he could stop her she began to speak. “I don't want you to misunderstand Harry.
I still love you, more than ever even, but I can't take this. Being apart from you is hard
enough, but to have small tastes of what things should be like just leaves me craving more.
It's just too hard really. It's easier to convince myself that you don't love me. My
biggest fear is that something will happen to you, and then we'll never have our chance.
Perhaps we could drop the charade. Just being your best friend makes me target enough, don't
you think?”

Sadly, Harry knew that he loved her too much to put her at an even greater risk. He stood from
the sofa and walked to the door. “I love you too much, Hermione. I promise we'll be together
someday, but right now it's not possible. I'm sorry.” And with that he walked back through
the castle with a greater determination to defeat Voldemort…and as quickly as possible.

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